Harry Potter:Shinobi?
by LoneCard
Summary: Harry finds a shuriken portkey that transpot him to Konoha. How on earth does he get home? Why is he here in the firt place? Who's behind it all? And why is that girl's hair pink? OOCness, pairings about!
1. The portkey

Me: Oh, Gaara-kun! Help me do the disclaimer.

Gaara: Why should I?

Me: 'Cause if you don't, you ain't getting' any for a year!

Gaara: Sighs Fine. My…Do I have to?

Me: Hurry up so we can get on with the story!

Gaara: Alright! My…_sweetheart_…doesn't own Naruto, Harry Potter, Grease/Grease soundtrack or, thank god, me.

Me: puts kitty collar on Gaara but, now I can control you!

Gaara: Ugh. Just read the story. Distracted by something Ooh, yarn!

….….

Harry Potter was in Gryffindor tower, staring out the window while his best mates slept. It was his fourth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He had just been chosen for the triwizard tournament. Nearly everyone, who had joked that he should've been able to sign up, was now against him. Even Ron Weasly, his very best mate, seemed a little forced in congratulating him.

Harry sighed. Things always seemed to happen to him. Suddenly, he heard his best mate talking in his sleep.

"Stupid Harry…always gets everything…."

Harry now just felt like scum, but…why was Ron jealous, anyway? He has his mum and dad. He didn't live with muggles that loathed him. He wasn't forced to lie that he went to some school for criminally incurable boys every summer! HE WASN'T CONSTANTLY STARED AT AND TREATED LIKE A TOTAL FREAK!

Harry kicked some random object, and was immediately feeling sorry for it. _Bloody hell, that was sharp!_ At first, the young wizard thought he'd hit some book or a thrown wand. But, then he noted it shining in the dim moonlight. _What the-?_

Making sure he had his wand, he walked over to the mystery object. It was shaped like a four-pointed metal star, but with a circle taken out of the middle out of it. Clutching his wand, he reached to pick it up. Just as his fingers closed on the metal-POOF. He was gone. Another POOF and he found himself in the middle of a field. It was afternoon and he was, as far as he knew, in the middle of a battlefield. And every weapon was directed at him.

….….

"Come on, Sasuke-kun!" 14-year-old Naruto said while they trained against each other. "I know you can do better than that! Believe it!"

"You're annoying. I'm trying not to kill you, but I will if you don't shut up." He threw a shuriken at the blonde.

"Come on! You can do it, Sasuke-kun!" Sakura cheered from the side. "Whup his ass!"

"Thanks, Sakura-Chan." Sasuke said to his girlfriend. "All I need is-"

A loud POOF interrupted the shinobis' training. In less than half of a blink of an eye, the three ninjas were surrounding the intruder, aiming kunai knives at the oddly dressed newcomer, who immediately did what every person would've done in his situation.

He started begging for his life, saying random gibberish, and making last minute confessions before he was stabbed to death.

"NO! Please don't kill me! I was just looking at this weird thing! Please, I'm too young to die, Ron hasn't forgiven me yet and I still have to tell Cho Chang I'm in love with her!"

The three shinobi blinked. They had absolutely no idea what he had said. His skin was too pasty for him to be from around here. Seeing that he was no real threat, they started talking to each other.

"Sasuke-kun, what do we do about this dude?" Sakura asked.

"He looks weird." Naruto said. "He has this weird thing on his forehead. You think he knows Gaara?"

"BAKA!" Sakura hit him over the head with a hammer. (Like the one Amy has on Sonic X… God, I miss that show…) "Not everyone with a sign on their forehead knows each other!"

"But…"

Harry got up. He wasn't Swiss cheese, which was a good sign. But he had absolutely no idea what was going on. He almost laughed when the blonde boy got hit over the head with some hammer. But he realized he was in a very bad situation. In a foreign country-China or Japan, from the sound of the language-transported by some random portkey, with no way home.

He thought back to the Quidditch world cup. He remembered Malfoy bragging to the Minister of Magic about a translating spell. (A/N: Ahh, cop-outs…just make up a spell and you're saved.) It allowed the caster of the spell to speak and understand a language. While the three shinobi argued with each other, Harry aimed his wand at the dark-haired boy. The spell also required that the caster 'recorded' some of the language. That took about a minute, during which the energetic blonde and the dark haired boy started arguing about something.

"_Enteindeme_!" Harry said, pointing the wand at himself. He cleared his throat and gave it his best shot.

"Oi! Can you blokes tell me where the bloody hell I am?" This came out in perfect…Chinese? Japanese? Well, he could communicate, and right now, that was all he needed right now.

"Huh?" Naruto heard the pasty-looking guy talking. "Hey, the dude said something! Believe it! Yo, Weirdo! What's a bloke?"

Harry blinked. Umm…shouldn't they be introducing themselves?

_Hey, I got what he said!_

Naruto got hit over the head with the hammer again.

"Naruto-baka! This guy's lost! We're supposed to help him!" Sakura turned to the lost boy. "Are you lost?" Harry nodded. "What village are you from?"

Harry blinked again. The only village he'd ever been to was Hogsmeade. He wasn't sure if that would count, but at least he could get to Hogwarts from the Leaky cauldron.

"Umm, I'm from Hogsmeade."

"The village hidden in the…"

Harry blinked again. He wasn't sure if these people were muggles or wizards, and not wanting to be in trouble with the Ministry of Magic again, he only shook his head.

"I really shouldn't say…"

"Maybe we should take him to the Hokage," Sasuke suggested. "He's defiantly not from around here. Tsunade should know what to do."

"Sasuke-kun, you're so smart!" Sakura said, pulling him into a big bear hug.

Harry, not knowing what a Hokage was, followed the three ninja. They seemed nice enough, but he still had a firm grip on his wand inside his Hogwarts robes…

……

Once they got to the village, Harry noted that he was getting odd looks from the civilians. He didn't blame them, but it was weird knowing he was being stared at for his clothes and not his scar.

"Oi!" Harry said. "You blokes never told me your names."

"Oh, yeah! I'm Naruto Uzumaki! Believe it!"

"I'm Sakura Haruno."

"Sasuke. Sasuke Uchiha." They all turned to Harry, who realized that his name was different from the others.

"I'm Harry Potter." It was a little unsettling to see people laugh at his name and not gush over how famous he was, or feel sorry for a loss that he didn't even remember.

"Harry! What kinda name is that!" Naruto gasped, laughing at the British boy. "God, you're such a freak! You're dressed like some weirdo cult member! What a dweeb!"

"Naruto!" Sakura yelled. The hammer hit yet again. "You can't say such mean things out loud!"

"OW! Sakura, that hurts! Believe it!"

"OKAY, WE"LL SODDING BELIVE YOU!" Harry yelled. "YOU'VE SAID THAT TWENTY BLOODY TIMES ALREADY! JUST SHUT IT!"

Everyone stared at him. This was going to take a very long time.

……

Once they'd gotten to the Hokage's office and told Lady Tsunade's assistant, the girl with the pig, about the whole ordeal, Naruto and Harry were on the verge of just screwing the whole thing and fighting each other right then and there. Harry was recalling every spell he knew for a wizard's duel. Naruto, on the other hand, was going through every jutsu he had been taught for combat. Sakura and Sasuke tried their best to calm the two down.

"Tsunade will see you now." The pig-carrying assistant said. The four teens walked into Tsunade's office, the three shinobi bowing.

Tsunade, however, was focusing on the whitish-skinned boy. Her eyes widened at the sight of his scar.

"HARRY POTTER?!" She screamed. "What are you- you're supposed to be at Hogwarts!"

"You know who I am?"

"Of course! I'm friends with Dumbledore, didn't he mention me?"

"Ummm…No, ma'am."

"Really?"

"How do you know him, anyway?"

"Well, when I was about ten…"


	2. Convieniant penpals

_"Tsunade-Chan!" Tsunade's mother held up a small letter. "Your pen pal sent you a letter!"_

_"Yay! I hope Brian's doing okay!" (1) Somewhere off in the distance, an owl was making its way back to London. "He said his mother was really sick. I hope she's okay."_

_Young Tsunade opened the letter, nearly tearing up the letter in the process. Racing to her room, she read the letter._

_'Hey, Tsunade! How you been!' Tsunade giggled at her pen pal's horrible Japanese handwriting. 'I can't believe I'm going to be leaving Hogwarts next year. I know I'll be real busy and all, but I'll still write. How's your grandpa? It must be hard for him to be Hokage. Oh, and thanks for asking, my mum's all better now. Write back soon! Your friend, Brian Dumbledore.'_

_Teenage Tsunade put the letter away with the rest of the letters she had gotten from her pen pal over the years. She had a feeling that they would be friends for a long time…_

……

"And that is how I know Dumbledore."

Harry nodded. After all, Dumbledore was all about magical cooperation and friendship and stuff. It seemed perfectly reasonable that he had such an important friend in such a distant country. But there was still one more matter.

"So, how do I get home?"

"I'll inform Dumbledore that you're here. Until then, you'll stay with Naruto, and train with squad seven. It's really the only way you'll pass time here."

"I'll train with these people, but there is no bloody way I'm staying with this sodding idiot!"

"Same here!" Naruto yelled. "I'm not baby-sitting some annoying dude with a weird accent who probably can't even throw a shuriken! Believe it!"

"Will you stop saying that!" Harry took out his wand and aimed it at Naruto. "_Silencio!_"

Naruto opened his mouth to say something…but nothing came out. He tried again. Nothing.

"Hey, what's wrong with Naruto?" Sakura asked.

"I shut him up with a silencing spell." Harry explained, indicating his wand.

"So, he can't speak?" Sakura looked as though a miracle had just occurred.

"And he won't be able to for a week."

"YES!" Tsunade shouted, throwing her hands up in the air. "THERE _IS_ A GOD!"

Everyone looked at her. Naruto looked completely insulted. This pasty skinned dweeb had just showed up, looking like some weird-ass cult member, with some weird-ass name, and some weird-ass chakra, and takes away his voice for a week! _I still bet this dweeb can't even hit the left side of a barn! Believe it!_

* * *

After two hours, Lady Tsunade convinced Harry to stay with Naruto. Harry, knowing that the stupid bloke wouldn't constantly be bugging him to believe something or other with the silencing spell in effect, finally caved. Naruto had grudgingly led Harry to his apartment, where he had grudgingly showed him a guest room he _supposed_ Harry could stay in. Harry walked in, took off his wizard's robes and slept in his jeans and gray t-shirt. Who had sent him here? Why? He would've thought Voldemort, but he knew that he couldn't get into Hogwarts grounds. What about Draco Malfoy, his second adversary and archrival? No, he was too dim-witted to really pull off a Portkey that sent him all the way to china (or Japan, whatever!) without the Minister of Magic figuring it out. Malfoy could get away with all loads of rubbish, but he doubted sending the boy who lived halfway across the world was one of them. So who could it be?

* * *

"Did you bring him here?" The boy asked. He was hidden in shadow, but his voice was cold and monotone. "Is the boy here?"

"Yes," Another boy was with him." His voice was more spirited, more passionate with hate. "He's with the blonde now. Have you brought the other one?"

"He'll be here tomorrow. Remember our deal. We eliminate him and the other and go our separate ways."

"Fine by me."

"Once they're gone, all those he took from us will be ours once more." The two boys nodded and walked in separate directions, staying to the shadows, lest some one see and figure out their plot for revenge…

* * *

Harry lifted his head. What an odd dream…being stuck in Japan or China or something. With a bunch of Ninja! God, the blonde got on his nerves. Why was it that blonde boys were total idiots, anyway? Harry heard a noise and a muffled "Shit!" Harry sat up straight. Had Malfoy found a way to sneak into Gryffin..dor..

This wasn't Gryffindor tower! Shit, that dream was real!

Did that mean he really had to go train with them? He'd seen the kind of weapons they had. They were cool, but really old school. He'd stick with his wand any day. You could run out of weapons. You couldn't run out of magic.

He heard a pounding at his door. "GET UP, WEIRDO!"

"What the- how can you talk? That spell was supposed to last for a week!"

"I was able to manipulate my chakra to override yours! Believe it!"

"I don't even know what that is! And will you stop saying that!"

"You don't know what chakra is? Then, how's you stop me from talking?"

"Magic!" Harry threw caution to the wind. The Ministry would understand. "I used magic!"

"Yeah right," Naruto said, rolling his eyes. "Next, you'll want me to believe in Power Rangers or something. Get up, we have training to go to."

Oh, great…

(1)Brian is one of Dumbledore's middle names.


	3. Malfoy's here!

Draco Malfoy was in a very bad situation. He was stuck in the middle of nowhere. A very hot nowhere. In his _black_ Hogwarts robe. With a two stupidly dressed weirdos, and their very pissy, though very hot, older sister.

"Alright, explain it again, now that you're _not_ about to be killed." Temari had her hands on her hips, and was glancing at Gaara, who had nearly crushed him right then and there. Every since he'd become Kazekage, he'd been very protective of his siblings. Especially his sister.

"That's what he gets." Gaara snapped defensively. "He did call you a hooker."

"He's an idiot." Kankuro agreed. "But you can't go around killing people like you used to. When you got Shukaku taken out of you, you had to sleep like everyone else, and you can't just go around killing people."

"I'm not an idiot!" Draco said in a choppy Japanese. He'd cast the translating spell too soon, causing him to talk a lot like a slightly advanced British tourist. "I'm lost!" He, like Harry, had been sent to Japan by portkey. However, the three shinobi around him were not as friendly as those in Konoha. In fact, the freak with the giant gourd on his back could control sand. Though that was impressive magic-_what else could it be?_ Thought Draco- it wasn't quiet so fun when he was nearly crushed by the pressure of it tightening around his neck. Draco backed away from them slightly.

"What's your name, kid?" Kankuro asked.

"I am Draco Malfoy." Draco expected the three to immediately apologize for treating him so badly, that they _never_ would've even _thought_ of hurting him if they had known. The name of Malfoy always commanded respect, even in the day and age of mudbloods. However, Kankuro and Temari burst out laughing, not only at his name, which was odd enough as it was, but the way he said it, like it was something to be proud of!

"Well, what are your names if they're so great!"

"I-I'm Te-Temari!" Temari said, laughing, but for some reason, trying to stop herself.

"Kankuro" Kankuro said, having more control over his emotions than his sister. "That's Gaara," He added, knowing he wouldn't introduce himself. "He's the Kazekage."

"So?" The annoyed blonde boy asked. "I don't care. I don't even know what that is."

The older siblings gasped. Gaara, however, smirked. "Then we'll have to teach the idiot, won't we?" He started walking towards Suna, leaving his siblings and the rude newcomer to either follow him or burn to death in the heat.

If Draco didn't know what a Kazekage was, he learned it was something important. Wherever they went, everyone bowed to the redhead, muttering "Kazekage-sama," as they did so.

"So, what's a Kazekage?" Draco asked, figuring that he'd better learn as much as possible about this apparently powerful person.

"He's the Kage that's in charge of the village hidden in the sand." Temari explained. "This whole place, and every one in it, is in the hands of Gaara."

Draco nodded, taking in the whole thing. This was very interesting.

Sorry for the short chapter, I'll make the next one longer, promise!

**Oh, btw, I'm really bored, so if anyone has any pairing requests, let me know. (Except Gaasaku. I really don't care for that pairing too much.) Anything else, i'm good to go!**


	4. Sandra Dee routine!

Harry and Naruto walked to the training field where Harry first showed up. Sasuke and Sakura were already there, sparring. To Harry, it looked like they were intent to kill. In actuality, they weren't even trying, though Sasuke was holding back more than Sakura. Harry had his hand on his wand, about to stop the fight when Naruto screamed, "Dudes, aren't you people even trying?"

"I thought you said he wouldn't talk for a week!" The couple whined at the same time, a habit they'd developed after dating for a year and a half.

"Something about over riding chakra, whatever that is."

"You don't know what chakra is?" Sakura asked. "Then how'd you stop him from talking?"

"He said he used _magic,_" Naruto made air quotes.

"I did! Look, I'll prove it!" He took out his wand and pointed it at a training dummy. "_Incendio!_" The dummy went up in bottle-blue flames. "_Glacious!_" Icy water shot out the wand and froze the flames in place.

"Wow," Sakura said. Sasuke put his arm around her, to remind her that she was _his_ girlfriend, thank you very much. "Anyway, Harry, you've never heard of chakra?"

"Nope."

"Well, it's basicly..." She pulled out a scroll and started explainig chakra, like she had to Naruto and Sasuke in some early episodes.

Just then, Ino and her crew showed up. Still upset that Sakura and Sasuke were an item, she made fun of her more than she used to.

"Still with that dull bimbo, Sasuke-kun? I can pull off that Sandra Dee routine, too, you know." She burst into song, Shikamaru and Choji fetching her a red feather boa and a bubble gum pink wig.

_Look at me, I'm Sandra Dee, _

_lousy with virginity. _

_Won't go to bed 'till I'm legally wed; _

_I can't, I'm Sandra Dee! _

_Watch it! Hey, I'm Doris Day._

_I was not brought up that way._

_Won't come across, even poor Rock-Lee lost_

_His heart to Doris Day!_

_I don't drink or swear, or rat my hair._

_I get ill from one cigarette._

_Keep your filthy paws_

_Off my silky draw'rs!_

_Would you pull that crap_

_With Annette?_

_Just keep your cool,_

_Now you're your starting to drool,_

_Well, I'm not Sandra Dee!_

"See, I can pull off the goody-two-shoes routine too!" Ino batted her eyes at him, playfully throwing him the feather boa. "But, the real thing can't have any fun." She tilted her hip suggestively. "I can." Just then, she noted Harry. "Who's the dweeb?"

"Some retard that thinks he can do magic," Naruto said, rolling his eyes.

"I can bloody well do Magic!" He pointed his wand at some bushes. "_Accio Roses!_" A dozen multi-colored roses flew into his outstretched arms. "_Lindatumisma,_" He muttered, and a silk red ribbon slid out of the tip of his wand and neatly tied itself around the roses. "For you, the best flower of them all," He said slyly, handing the roses to Sakura, who squealed in delight at the sight of the Skittle-colored flowers.

Okay, now Sasuke was pissed. How dare this pasty skinned Brit just show up and flirt with _his_ girlfriend!? Didn't he know of the Uchiha clan and their power? Well, if he didn't, Sasuke would be the one to teach him.

"Let's get started." He said testily. "Harry, Do you have good control over your…magic?"

"Yeah, why?"

Without warning, Sasuke threw a shuriken at him. Not for nothing, however, was Harry the youngest seeker in a century. Using his Quidditch reflexes, he quickly cast a shielding spell and deflected the weapon towards Naruto, who had somehow gotten into an arm wrestling contest with Ino. Naruto, busy at the moment, got hit in the back of the neck, causing him to flinch, which in turn, caused him to lose. Quite painfully.

However, while Harry was distracted at Naruto cursing, Sasuke ran up to him and held a kunai to Harry's neck. Harry, not unused to having his life threatened, stared Sasuke straight in the eye.

"Just you wait, Potter. You just sit and wait…" Sasuke pulled away from Harry and ran toward his girlfriend.

To think this is only the first day of training.


	5. Chopsticks

Draco stared at the bowl of noodles and the pair of chopsticks placed in front of him. Couldn't they get him real food? Or at least an eating utensil he knew how to use? He stared helplessly at the three siblings who had already begun to dig in. He hated asking for help, but right now, his hunger was louder than his pride.

"Umm, I don't know how to use chopsticks."

"Dumb ass," Kankuro said. "We're not your mom, you figure it out."

Draco snarled, but just as he was about to take out his wand, Temari passed a fork to him. Draco blinked at her and felt a pink tinge appear on his cheeks, at which Temari smiled shyly.

Gaara saw this whole thing and nearly spat out his ramen in disgust. His sister had gone out with boys before, but they were just flings, nothing more than a night of fun for 17-year-old Temari. Her liking someone put her in a position where she could be hurt, and Gaara, now being the protective brother that he was, did not like that one bit. Especially this blonde-haired idiot….

"So, how'd you get here, Draco?" Temari asked.

"Like I said, I got here by portkey."

"Which is…?" Draco blinked. These people obviously knew magic, or at least it seemed that way to Draco. Surely they knew about portkeys.

"You know, a portkey." Temari tilted her head a little.

"Never heard of it." Could she be a squib or something? Draco looked to the two boys. In reality, they seemed to be the only ones who had actually done magic. The redheaded bloke could control sand –obviously an elemental spell- and the guy in the kitty hat could control the puppet-which, as any wizard knows, is an easy to learn totem spell.

"Do any of you know what a portkey is?" They both shook their heads.

_Oh, great, _Draco thought. _I'm stuck with a bunch of muggles! _He furrowed his brow. _But, if they're muggles, then how can they do magic? Maybe they've just never heard of a portkey. But that would mean that they were mudbloods. Oh, that's just bloody great, isn't it?_

"You people aren't mudbloods, are you?" Draco asked, trying to sound nonchalant. To be honest, he really hoped the girl was a pureblood…

"Are you sure you're okay?" Temari asked, placing the back of her hand oh his forehead. "You're not really making much sense to us." Gaara, at this point, wanted to just forget what he'd said before and just kill the boy he hated so much. But_ no,_ he had to _wait_.

"Draco, why don't you explain to us how you got here? From the start."

"By portkey. A portkey's like a kind of…" Normally, he would've bee exasperated at how dense she was, but for some reason, he couldn't bring himself to that. So he just settled for explaining everything he knew about magic to the three shinobi.

* * *

"Harry!" Naruto yelled. "You missed again!" 

Kakashi, now already used to the rivalry going on between Naruto and Harry, wasn't really surprised to begin with. Ever since Sasuke and Sakura started going out, Sasuke had gone soft. It was really only a matter of time before Naruto started looking for a new rival.

"It's not my fault, I hate these stupid knives!"

"Not my problem!" Again, Harry got frustrated and took out his wand. "_Silencio!_" That of course, didn't work. Two minutes later, Naruto was babbling again, using his chakra to override the spell. Harry now knew about chakra, thanks to Sakura, but he still tried to catch to blonde off guard. He thought back to a spell he had used in his second year against another annoying blonde. "_Rictusempra!_" Naruto started laughing at how stupid the kid wizard was. Then he realized: He couldn't _stop._ Naruto tried desperately to hold back the laughter, but to no avail. Sakura and Sasuke looked at him and, noteing the panic in Naruto's bright blue eyes, alerted Kakashi.

"Harry, fix him," Kakashi said absently.

"Fine," Harry sighed. "_Finite Incantatem._" Naruto stopped laughing at once.

"WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?" Naruto screamed.

"YOU, YOU BLOODY IDIOT!" _Ugg, not again…_


	6. Fawkes's note

Tsunade sighed, wondering when Dumbledore was going to respond. Having Harry here was extremely inconvenient. He was so used to casting spells for everything. Kami, if she got one more complaint that Naruto and Harry were arguing, she'd go and smack both of them right then and there. Heck, she could hear them arguing right now, for Kami's sake! Saké…God, Tsunade could use some of that right now. Life was not going very good right now.

Just then, Fawkes, Dumbledore's phoenix, popped into the very middle of Tsunade's office.

"Hello, Fawks," Tsunade greeted. "Please tell me you have good news." Fawks only blinked in reply. "Right." Tsunade gingerly opened the letter. _Please be good news, please be good news!_

_Dearest Tsunade,_ the letter began. _I hope this letter finds you in good health and happy conditions. Thank you for informing me about Harry. We were getting quite worried. However, there is something else you should know. Another student of mine, Draco Malfoy, has been transported to Suna. If you could contact someone there, it would truly be appreciated. We're working on a way to get them back as soon as possible, but there are other matters I have to attend to as well, so it very well could take a few months. Yours truly, Albus Brian Dumbedore._

A few months? A student lost in Suna? Great, just great. How much paperwork was _this_ gonna take? She did not have the energy for this.

"Shizune!" The assistant came in to the office, carrying the pig as always.

"Yes, Lady Tsunade?"

"Send a letter to the Kazekage and ask if there's some lost kid named-" She looked at the paper. "-Draco Malfoy. Boy, I feel bad for that kid."

"Right away, ma'ma!"

"And bring me something to drink while you're at it!"

* * *

It was sunset, and Harry was wandering the streets of Konoha. The less time he spent with that annoying blonde, the better. God, he was so hyper! And he never shut up! 'Believe it, believe it, believe it!' Half the time, that phrase didn't even fit into what he was saying! He kicked a rock, which landed about three feet to the left.

"_Harry_…" Harry looked up. He didn't know why, but the voice sent a shiver down his spine.

"Hello?" Harry called. However, the streets were empty, and no one was there.

_"Harry…you're dead meat._"

"Who's there?" Harry asked. He was panicking slightly. It sounded much too young to be Voldemort but then, who could it be? He spun around and thought, for a second, he had seen a flash of vibrant red hair…Nah, couldn't be Ron.

"Hey, Harry!" Harry turned around to see Sasuke and Sakura running towards him. "Harry, what are you doing here? Aren't you staying with Naruto?"

"Him? I can't stand that bugger! God, he is so annoying! And he thinks he's so great and everything! Where are his stupid parents, anyway? Can't they shut him up?"

"Harry," Sakura started softly. "Haven't you ever wondered _why_ Naruto lives alone?"

"No. I bet his mum and dad can't stand him though."

"You dork," Sasuke snapped. "Naruto's parents are dead. Kami, are you always this dense?"

"Oh."

"Oh, Harry," Sakura began, oblivious to Sasuke's sudden venom. "You don't know what it's like for him, with no parents-"

"Actually, I do. My parents are dead." Sakura blinked. Sasuke just rolled his eyes and dragged his girlfriend towards some unknown destination.

Harry stood shock-still. So, Naruto's parents were dead? Maybe now Harry would have something to talk to him about. Harry walked towards Naruto's apartment.


	7. New relationships OR upcoming action

**Hello, my peeps! Sorry, but I've always wanted to say that. I know the story's losing some action, but keep reading. You never know, (And I do...yay!) Reviews make me type faster -_Wink_- If you catch my drift. Now read, my fellow Naruto fans, READ!**

* * *

"So." 

"So."

That's all Naruto and Harry said to each other. They had each other told their respective life stories, and if they had been girls, they would've been crying their eyes out. This was certainly not a fun moment, so let's check in on the Sand village and its resident wizard…

* * *

"So, Draco," Temari and Draco were sitting in an old forest on the edge of Suna that used to be a park. They were sitting on one of the few remaining park benches and staring at nothing in particular, on the verge of being lost in their own thoughts, but still feeling the need to converse with one another. "What's it like, being able to do magic? It' must be awesome, just say something and whatever you want, you get." She scooted a little closer to him. 

"Actually, it's not so great. There are loads of rules, and laws and you don't really get any good stuff." He looked down at his shoes.

"You mean, there are things you want? Like what?"

"Well, see, people don't exactly…_like _me" He sighed and looked her straight in the eye. "I don't have any friends. Not really. Anyone who's with me's just there 'cause they've heard of my dad, and they want power, or they're scared, so they stay for security. They don't care about me; just what I have." He wiped a tear from his eye.

"Draco, that's not true." She pulled him into a hug.

"How do you know?"

"Because _I_ care about you. A lot."

She kissed him. It was a sweet, gentle, innocent kiss, barely lasting more than six seconds.

However, a certain redhead hidden in the background growled in the very back of his throat. Oh, how he wished he could kill that blond Brit now. But he would wait, bide his time until he could show his true intentions.

* * *

"Harry," Naruto asked hesitantly. "You're famous, right?" 

"Yeah."

"Good or bad?"

"Huh?"

"Do people respect you, or hate you?"

"Respect me, I guess. My parents died at the hands of the worst murderer of all time. People pity me, really, but I guess you could say they respect me."

"Lucky. People resent me. They blame me for all the deaths that the nine-tails caused. I guess people always look for something to blame. It makes them feel less guilty about themselves, I guess.

"But that doesn't make it right. It's not like you wanted to kill all those people. Heck, you couldn't even sit up!" The two had a laugh at that. It looked like they were becoming friends.

* * *

"It's worse than I thought." Gaara stood in abandoned lot somewhere, his partner-in-crime standing in front of him. "She's fallen for him already. The sooner we get rid of him, the better." 

"Not to mention four-eyes," Sasuke said. "I swear, if he hits on my girl one more time, I will slash his pasty-ass throat to shreds!"

"Really?" Gaara raised the muscle on his face where an eyebrow should've been. "Well, just wait. We'll get our revenge soon enough."

"I'm tired of waiting! The longer we wait-!"

"The longer we wait, the weaker they get. They're not used to being around shinobi. They will fall, eventually."

"So? That doesn't mean we can't give them a little push to speed up the process!"

"Push too hard, and others try to push back."

"I'm sick of listening to you!" Sasuke snapped into a fighting stance. "You only want to sit back and watch them kill themselves! Why can't we take them down now!?"

Sand began to swirl dangerously around Gaara, dark monotone malice in his eyes. "We don't know enough yet. What weakness do _you_ know about Harry?" Sasuke could only scowl in response. "I thought so. Draco has his weakness, and that's, unfortunately, my sister. But…"

"What?"

"Their wands…they can't do magic without their wands. We'll have to get rid of those things."

"Finally, some action!"

**Some action, indeed! WEEE! THANK YOU TO ALL MY REVIEWERS! Oh, I need an evil henchperson/ evil assistant, so anyone up for the challenge?**


	8. Fork over the wand &filler chap&

**Hello peoples! To the people who want to be henchpeople in the story, the character won't show up for three chapters, but you'll be super-important! If there's anyone who wants to be the hench person, lemme know! Now, enough of my ramblings, and on to the story!**

* * *

It was mid-morning the next day, and Harry and Naruto were on their way to training. Ever since the night before, there was a bit of an awkward silence between the two boys. It was respectful, but still awkward. 

"Yeah?"

"You know, for a pasty Brit, you're okay" He gave him a light shoulder punch. "Beliv-" He stopped himself.

"You can say it if you want." Harry said, shoulder punching back, though not quite as hard.

"No, you were right. I shouldn't say it so often. I bet it does get kinda annoying after twenty bazillion times."

"Well, yeah, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't say it if you want to." After that, the two walked along in another silence. But, this was a different kind of silence. It was a language all it's own. Yes, that's it, the language of silence. And as they approached the training ground, that silence was shattered by the dulcet tones of a very heated argument.

"Sakura, you CANNOT tell anyone. I don't care how you found out, but you WILL keep your mouth shut!"

"Sasuke, you can't do this! He didn't even do anything to you!"

"Can and will, Sakura. I don't care what he is! He's going to suffer!"

"But, he's not-!"

"NOT WHAT! HE WILL SUFFER FOR TAKING MY FA-!"

"Guys, what's goin' on?" Naruto looked back and forth between Sasuke and Sakura. "What are you arguing about?"

"Nothing," Sasuke said quickly. "Just a little lover's quarrel."

"No, it's not!" Sakura screamed. "Sasuke, I'm not letting you do this!"

"_Letting_ me?" He sneered. "Since when are you the boss of me?" He took a step closer to her and stuck her across the face, knocking her to the ground. "Listen to me, Sakura, and listen good. You _will_ keep your mouth shut. Got it?"

Sakura, on the verge of tears, could only nod.

"Good." Sasuke smirked. Naruto and Harry, obviously, were in shock. Sasuke had always been somewhat of a jerk, but he'd always –_always-_ been nothing less than a gentleman towards his supposed beloved. What on earth was going on? Naruto rushed to Sakura's side, trying his best to comfort the understandably hysterical girl.

"Right," Sasuke snapped, throwing one last disgusted look at Sakura before turning to Harry. "Well, you've been here for a few days, and there's no word on when or if your gonna get home, so, you're gonna have to start training for real. That means no more magic." He held out his hand. "You won't need that wand while you're here, Harry. Fork it over."

"What? I still have to do magic!"

"Sasuke, isn't that a little much?" Naruto asked, his arm around Sakura's violently shaking shoulders. "I mean, he's only been here for a few days."

"Since when are you two best buddies?" Sasuke snapped. "Anyway, fork it over, Potter. It's no good to you here."

Harry, of course, was not about to give up his wand. At least not to this dweeb, anyway. He'd been here a few days, and was only just starting to get used to using kunai knives. He couldn't just start training hard core! Besides, what good would it do once he got home? It's not like there was a ninja-weapons store on Diagon Alley.

"Look, I'm not handing over my wand. I need it."

"Scared? Potter, we're not in your little wizarding world anymore. Most ninja our age have already killed at least once. You, you probably think killing is _wrong_ and _evil_, and all that righteous crap. You want to survive here? _Fork over the wand, Potter._"

"Sasuke, don't you think his magic might be an advantage?" Naruto pointed out. "No one's really expecting that, so he could catch an enemy off-guard. And no one's gonna believe that someone can do magic, so even if whoever it is we fight manages to get away, they can't warn anyone, 'cause no one will listen. Right, Sakura?" Naruto and Harry looked to Sakura. Sasuke glared at her, daring her to go against him. However, her face being held in her hands, she caught nothing of what was being said or seen.

"I thought so," Sasuke smirked. He turned to face Harry, taking on a fighting stance. "No one goes against me. No one."


	9. Mini melee

**Hello, alls! Yes, the rating went up 'cuza this chapter. I think it'll disturb someone, so I'm puting a little warning. (There, I warned people! Try and get me now, lawyers! I dare ya!)**

**Update: Rewritten due to the fact that my reader ship dropped by a third after this chapter. Please come back to me readers! Smacked to my senses by** Dark Magician Grrl.** Thank her for the rewrite. **

* * *

Sasuke smirked. "No one goes against me. No one." 

"Says you." Harry snapped. He held out wand in front of him like a sword. "You're getting this wand over my dead body."

"Fine by me." Before anyone could blink, Sasuke sent a shuriken spinning madly straight at Harry's head.

"_Reducto!_" Harry immediately blew up the metal weapon into oblivion. He took a step forward and yelled yet another spell. "_Levicorpous!_" Sasuke immediately flipped in the air, as though an invisible rope had tied itself around his ankle.

Sasuke struggled against the invisible restraint. Then it hit him. Harry was relying on spells…but how would he fair in Taijutsu?

"Oh no," Sasuke said pitifully, using every ounce of acting skills he had to fake his way down. "Fine, Potter, keep your wand. Now, lemme down, I'm getting a head rush."

"_Finite Incantatem!_" Sasuke flipped backward onto his feet. Just as he was making a show of dusting himself off, he charged at Harry. No amount of Quidditch skills could prepare him for this. Sasuke punched him in the chin, knocking his up off the ground a few inches.

"Barrage of Lions!" Sasuke started his technique, kicking Harry around like a beanbag. Harry, of course, was not a skill shinobi, or even very strong. After the first two kicks, he was on the edge of consciousness. But with a determination made to match Naruto's, he took the hits as bravely as he could. Sasuke finished his attack and sneered. Harry struggled to his feet, wiping a thin line of blood from the corner of his mouth.

"Is that…all you got?" Harry asked, breathing heavily. Sasuke's attack had taken its toll on Harry, no matter what he said. Harry waved his wand, wincing at his broken finger. "_Expelliamous!_" Sasuke flew backward ten feet and smacked into a tree, his unconscious body slumping at its base. Then, it disappeared in a puff a smoke, reveling a small log.

"Guess who, Quidditch champ." Sasuke knocked Harry over from behind. While no one looked, he reached his hand into Harry's robe and snatched the wand. "Game over, champ." Another puff of smoke, and he was gone…wand and all.

……

It was a few hours after the mini-mêlée. After walking Sakura home, Naruto and Harry were in Naruto's apartment's living room, tending to Harry's wounds. The battle had done its number on Harry.

"Hey," Naruto asked while wrapping some bandages around Harry's upper right arm, the left one being in a sling. "You sure you don't need an ice-pack? Sasuke messed you up pretty good."

"Thanks, but I've gone against Dementors, Voldemort, a Basilisk, and the Dursely's. Sasuke's actually not that bad. But what he did to his girlfriend…that was low."

"Even for him." Naruto nodded, now putting a bandage on Harry's left cheek. "Hey, you want something to eat? I have some ramen, if you want."

"Yeah, sure." Harry said, wondering what on earth ramen was. Ten minutes later, his question was answered in the form of a microwave timer ringing from the kitchen.

"I'll get that." Naruto finished placing one last bandage on Harry's right hand, and went to serve his trademark food. After a few minutes and a small amount of noise, Naruto came back to the living room carrying two steaming bowls of ramen and two pairs of chopsticks, which he set on the small coffee table that was in front of the couch Harry was sitting in. He passed Harry a set of chopsticks, plopped down next to him, and began to dig in.

Harry picked up the chopsticks. He had seen the Dursely's once eating Chinese take-out. True, he hadn't been allowed to eat it, but still. How hard could it be?

Well, as it turned out, it was very hard. Naruto had already started eating, quite nosily at that, so he hadn't noticed Harry struggling to get a grip on the foreign eating utensil at first. But he soon looked up to see Harry cursing the hell out on those chopsticks.

"You need help?"

"Yep." Naruto leaned over a bit and took Harry's good hand in his. "Look," he said. "You just gotta hold 'em like this." He moved Harry's fingers to adjust around the chopsticks, explaining all the while. "Hold it a little loose, and tighten your grip when you're trying to pick something up. But not too tight, or it'll just kinda squish out."

Harry laughed a little. Naruto turned to face Harry straight on. They weren't quite sure what started it. But, the next thing they knew, Naruto had leaned in just a bit too much, and their lips met. And neither pulled away.

Instead, they let the kiss intensify.

Naruto wrapped his arms around Harry's neck, pulling himself a little closer to him. Harry ran his fingers through Naruto's golden hair, tangling them in the spiky locks. Harry ran his tongue over Naruto's soft lips, gently sliding it into Naruto's mouth. They kissed for a few moments more than pulled away, looking at each other with their new found respesct and something more.

Naruto rested his head against Harry's shoulder.

"Harry?"

"Yeah?"

"Sorry I called you a British, pasty-skinned cult member."

"It's alright..." Harry trailed off at the fragile look on Naruto's face. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing...But, Harry?"

"Yeah?"

"Promise me you won't hurt me." Harry was surprised at the lost look on Naruto's face, like a little boy fearful of something he didn't quite understand.

"I Promise."

They both fell asleep on the couch. From strangers to haters to loves. Life works in odd ways.


	10. Thank you's: Author's note

Hello, everyone! Thank you so much for reading, and I'm sorry because you all probably thought this was a new chapter. I feel so bad for getting all your hopes up. Well, see the thing is, I got this new computer (Which is very nice and all) But my fanfic is saved on my old computer. I won't be able to update for a few days. Two weeks tops.

Oh, but I feel so bad! How can I make it up to you people? I guess I'll write the names of everyone who was kind to review and/or alert my fanfic. I'd've given up a long time ago with out you guys. (Sorry if I forgot anyone.)

**Colan0414863**-I will, It's not like I have anything else to do.

**Devil-Speaker**-Yes, it does change things. I wonder what Sasuke will do, too…

**The ****Elven****-Spear**-Yes, it was very odd. I liked the way it came out, though.

**Loner ****Kitsune**** Girl**-I never actually said Naruto's that stupid. That was just Harry's point of view.

**xXx**** Rainbow Skull ****xXx**- Sorry I made Harry too british, I'm canadian, so I don't know much about british terms and stuff. And No, I will not back off, Gaara is, in fact, mine.

And last, but not least: The two people who reviewed for nearly every chapter of mine, and who offered to be henchpeople when no one else would: To **raveresque-fantastique**and **Chisando**. Thank you so much for sticking with this story. Over two thousand hits, baby!

Again, sorry for the delay, and I'll update ASAP! Peace out, from **Gaara's**** Sweetheart**!


	11. A new plan

**I'm back! I have my awesome new computer of ultimate shininess! I hope you all like this chapter! Now, read and enjoy...**

* * *

"Draco."

"Gaara."

The two boys were back in the Sabaku no Household, and were in the midst of an undeclared staring contest. The fourteen-year-olds were sitting crossed-legged and glaring daggers at each other. Kankuro was on a couch, eating popcorn (buttered, of course,) and silently betting with himself as to who would win. He had never seen his younger brother so loathing of one specific person. It was actually a bit of a relief that Gaara wasn't pissed off at him.

_Stupid emo,_ Draco thought.

_Stuck-up snob,_ Gaara thought back.

_Psycho._

_Wimp._

_Motherfuc-!_

"Guys, I made dinner!" Temari's voice rang from the kitchen, interrupting the silent shouting match. Kankuro did a light side step around the still glaring boys and made his way towards the kitchen. Draco, not wanting to keep Temari waiting, immediately blinked, lost gracefully, and rushed to the kitchen.

Gaara was now fuming. He was a very competitive person, and few things angered him more than someone who gave up when they could easily put up a fight. The absolute insult to injury was that he lost solely to make Temari happy. He was now beginning to see how Sasuke felt, and that only made him even bitterer. This annoying blonde Brit was testing Gaara's one good nerve. As if he hadn't had enough problems, anyway. The Hokage of Konoha had sent him a letter asking for Draco, and he had no idea if he should lie or not. On the one hand, getting rid of Draco would be a huge relief on Gaara's semi-sanity. On the other hand, getting rid of Draco would arouse suspicion. Having Harry with them must have messed Konoha up enough. Plus, he needed to disarm the twit. It would do no good to ditch him…he'd have to stay for now.

"Gaara, you comin'?" Temari called. "Oh, I made your favorite!" Gaara snapped back to the present and contemplated over his new dilemma: Sit with his enemy, or not eat his favorite dish.

"…Hope you like it, Draco, I worked really hard on it, I know it's not the same…"

"Actually, it's better. Thanks."

"Oh, it was nothing, really…"

Oh. She had made that _blonde Brit's_ favorite dish. Gaara seethed with jealousy. He stayed on the living room floor, took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He manipulated a small handful of sand to silently glide into the kitchen, and over to Draco. Sliding inside his wizard's robes, the sand noiselessly took the wand out of its pocket and delivered it straight to Gaara's lap.

_Success…looks like we don't need him after all. _However, at that precise moment, a snag in the plan became apparent. If Harry and Draco were to run into each other, they might catch on to something…they would need something to keep them apart…or some_one_… Yes, a henchperson to drive them the wrong way…yes… that would do just fine.

Now, to find a henchperson…

* * *

Sakura sat drunk in a bar. How she was drunk was a mystery, since she was drinking fruit punch. She'd been upset ever since Sasuke had hit her. And she was making sure every one knew it.

"He thinks-_hic_-he's so _great_. BUT HE'S NOT!" She yelled, tottering on the barstool. "Mr. Duck-butt-head, what'cha thinka me _now_? HUH? I don't need ya! No siree bobcat!" She slammed down her drink, causing it to slosh around a little bit.

"I know how you feel," A girl with bushy brown hair, a foreign accent, and a black cloak next to her said, equally drunk. "This dude I know, he's as dumb as a stump. But he thinks he's so great, just 'cuz he…he…" The bushy haired girl passed out. _Wonder who she is…_Sakura thought.

Then she went back to rambling on about 'Mr. Duck-butt-head'.

* * *

"Lady Tsunade!" Shizune rushed into her boss's office. "We've just got word from the Kazekage!" Tsunade, who had been drinking from the secret stash of sake she had in her office, snapped sober immediately. (A/N: Is it happy hour yet? I have tequila!)

"Well, they got they –_hic_- kid?" Well, she wasn't entirely sober just yet.

"Yes, they do, and they've sent him on his way. He'll be here any day now!"

"What!" Okay, _now_ she was completely sober.

"Yes, isn't it great?" Shizune said, squishing the life out of the poor little pig she carried around. "He's coming with the Kazekage's older sister. For some reason, she insisted on coming with him. _Ooh_, what if they're…" She continued going on and on, just droning and babbling about romance, just droning and babbling. Tsunade tuned her out and thought about what she was going to do with two wizards in Konoha. Having Harry here had disrupted life enough. What would one more do? Well, perhaps they knew each other. She'd have to get them together, see if they could work something out, or at least figure out how they got here. However, little did she know that two partners-in-crime had other plans…


	12. The auditions

**Before I begin, points to **The Elven-Spear **for knowing who Sakura's drinking buddy was last chapter! Now, to the story!**

* * *

It was the evil henchperson auditions. Sasuke and Gaara needed a secret agent to make sure Harry and Draco didn't run into each other. That would ruin the plan. Sure, they had two operatives from Harry's world, but Harry would quickly recognize the two. The girl's intelligence of Harry's world in general was invaluable, and the boy knew more about Harry than anyone else. They would have to stay."Who's up first?" Gaara asked. How he was able to transport himself from Suna to Konoha was top-secret. The girl operative certainly knew her wand work. 

"Chisando Kotonashi," Sasuke read off the clipboard. " 'Dark, mysterious, loves blood, blood red hair, aquamarine blue eyes, wears a black giant cloak that covers her whole body.' Seems like henchperson material. Bring her in."

_Sounds like a me-clone if you ask me,_ Gaara thought. But, of course, Sasuke didn't ask. A door opened.

"Hello," Chisando said slowly, her rich voice capturing both of their attentions at once. "Am I to understand that you need a henchperson?" Sasuke nodded. "Very well. What do you wish to know?" Despite the written description, she looked nothing like Gaara. Her scarlet hair fell straight to her waist, her eyes were deceptively cheerful. She was, indeed, wearing a velvet cloak that covered the length of her body, billowing at her feet. She emitted an aura of malice. It shook even Gaara up a little.

"How are you with deception?"

"Now then," She smirked. "I wouldn't be a good henchwoman if I couldn't lie."

"Hn," Gaara said. "Well, are you willing to kill?"

"If necessary, yes."

A few more questions followed, and the usual 'don't call us, we'll call you,'. All in all, she seemed like a promising candidate. But they had a few more people lined up in see.

"Alright, next!" Gaara called.

"Hello," A smooth, Hispanic male voice said. "My name is Senor Bob Shwanky" A man in a navy blue tuxedo, a matching top hat, and a sapphire-jeweled cane stepped forward to the interview room.

"Bob…Shwanky?" Sasuke blinked.

"_Si,_ brave fighter."

"Your name is BS?" Sasuke asked.

"_Si…_"

"So, you're bullsh-" Gaara's sand slapped over Sasuke's mouth before he could make the comment. Why did he have such a stupid partner? Why? If he wasn't Gaara, he would have smacked his head against something.

Unfortunately for Senor Bob Shwanky, he was too 'boisterous' for the job. Well, they couldn't say he was too Hispanic for the job, could they? Damn lawyers.

"Next!" Sasuke shouted once Senor Bob Shwanky had left. According to the clipboard, the next person up was known only as Rave.

"Evil henchperson at your service!" Rave exclaimed. "Unless someone already volunteered and stuff..." The interview assumed a very odd personality. Rave seemed a little scattered-brained, but very intelligent. A nice air of deception, too. The one you'd never expect to be evil.

Again, the usual 'don't call us, we'll call you'. Once Rave had left, Gaara looked down at the clipboard to see who was left…. only to discover that only three people had signed up for this! What Gaara had mistaken for applications had turned out to be a crayoned doodle of a house, done with all the skills of a kindergartener. Under that paper, an orange kitty. Under _that_ paper, a purple flower. And the pictures continued on, each of them signed by Sasuke in a childish scrawl.

"Sasuke, what the fuck?" Gaara asked, wondering exactly how low he had sunk just to help out his stupid…well, someone.

"I just wanted to dwaw." Sasuke said, leaving out the 'R' in 'draw' like a 3-year-old, dragging his foot across the floor in front of him.

"Ugh, never mind." Gaara looked back to the only three people who had showed up. He thought about them. Senor Bob Shwanky was a total weirdo, but the other two were both very competent, which is a lot, coming from Gaara. They could each be useful…pity they had to pick only one. Or did they? Why couldn't they pick both? One could distract Harry, the other Draco. Yes, that would work perfectly. Gaara called them each back in to tell them they had both been hired. This was going very good.

And in the background, Sasuke was lying on his stomach like a little kid, drawing cookies in crayons, humming 'The itsy-bitsy spider'. _Someone came off the short bus today,_ Rave thought. _What a loser,_ Chisando thought. _But he's a member of the Uchiha clan…his blood must be quite tasty…_

* * *

_The next day…_

Temari and Draco were in Konoha and were on their way to the Hokage's office to meet up with they only knew as another wizard. Their arms were linked and they ready to take on the day. Draco looked around Konoha and noted the differences it held from Suna. Konoha seemed more colorful, and joyful. Children ran along the streets and other young couples strode along, either hand in hand or arm in arm, glowing with that glow that everyone in love seemed to have. Temari smiled, wondering if her and Draco emitted that kind of radiance, too.

"Temari?"

"What is it, Draco?"

"You're pretty when you smile."

The two walked along in relative silence, enjoying the sunny day and each other's company. At least until…

"Hey, excuse me!" A young girl, around Draco's age, came up to him and Temari, tossing her light brown hair over her shoulder. "I'm very sorry to bother you, but I'm lost, could you help me?" If she could just distract them for a few more moments…

"Sorry, but we're not from around here, either." Temari said. _Bingo,_ Rave thought.

Just then, Shizune showed up, running towards Temari and Draco. She recognized Temari in a heartbeat, which was odd since they hadn't met before. In fact, Temari didn't expect anyone to come greet them.

"Sorry 'bout this. _NOT!_" Rave threw something at Temari and Draco. They were surrounded by darkness and knew no more…

* * *

Chisando Kotonashi is** Chisando**, Rave is **raveresque-fantastiques. Congrats on being picked! Even if you were the only ones who signed up in the first place…-_Goes to a corner and weeps dramatically_- Chisando Kotonashi will make her appearance next chapter. Oh, and Bob Shwanky was some character my and my friend Christine came up with when we were on a sugar high. Long live BS!**


	13. Captured

**YAY! The first chapter to be completed on my shiny new computer of ultimate shininess! This is absolutely great! WHEEE! -Good girl pose- Wait…did I just…? Great, I'm turning into Lee! Wahh! -Recovers- Now, on to the story!**

"**English"**

"Japanese"

* * *

Harry and Naruto were walking around town. The two of them were aware that the town wasn't hateful towards gays, but it was still a bit awkward. Naruto knew he'd been gay for a while now, but Harry was pretty sure he was bi, hence his crush on Cho Chang. Still, Harry wasn't quite used to it, so Naruto had come up with a nice little solution. 

That's right; Naruto had used his sexy jujitsu!

(Hold your nosebleeds, people; he was wearing an orange picnic dress.)

Now, the two were on a stroll through Konoha, just walking around and taking in the nice fall weather. It was a really quiet day. Even the most hyper of children knew to just be relaxed and stare at the clouds drifting by…

_Pity it has to end…_

Chisando was disguised as just another little girl enjoying the loverly weather, hair in blood-red pigtails and everything. No one ever suspects the pigtails.

"Um, excuse me," Chisando gingerly walked up to the couple. "I'm l-lost. Can you help me, please?"

"Of course," Naruto said, kneeling to meet the little girl eye to eye. "Are you here with your mommy or daddy?"

"Uh-huh!"

"Where was the last place you saw them?" Harry asked.

"This way!" She said eagerly. "C'mon, mister!" The 'little girl' took hold of Naruto's hand and dragged him/her to dear lord knows where. It was all Harry could do to keep up.

"This way, mister!" She lead them down a few streets. _She's going awfully fast for such a little girl, _Naruto thought. _And she's seems kinda happy for a little kid who lost her parents…_

She led them down one last alleyway and stopped suddenly.

"This is as far as you go. Nothing _personal._"

She threw a black powder at the couple and darkness surrounded them…

* * *

Harry stirred feebly. He wondered…where was Naruto? 

"Naruto…?" Harry asked.

"Harry?"

"What happened? Are you okay?" The two made feeble attempts to sit up and see each other, but their bodies were inexplicably weak.

" 'Bout time you two woke up, you bloody gits." A voice came from a few feet away. Harry's head snapped up. Oh, great, just when life couldn't get any worse.

"MALFOY? What're you doing here, you bloody little weasel!"

"Hey! Don't talk to him like that!" Harry sat up and was immediately met by the intense glare from a blonde girl with four pigtails. "He's not just someone you can-!"

"Temari, dear, it's okay."

Harry shook his head and took a look (A/N: Ha, Took a Look. That rhymes!) at his surrounding. He, Naruto (back to his original form), Draco, and the pig-tailed girl were in a very small, very rusty cage-like cell.

"What are you doing here?!" Harry and Draco snapped at the same time.

"You two know each other?" Temari and Naruto asked at the same time. Naruto gulped. _Please don't let it be an ex, please don't let it be an ex!_ He prayed silently.

"I hate his guts!"

**"You think you're so great just because you're Dumbledore's favorite!"**

**"You're just a vile little weasel who always hides behind his vile little father!"**

**"BLOODY GIT!"**

**"What did you just say!"**

**"You heard me, you pansy!"**

**"Wait, what?"** No, Malfoy couldn't know about him and Naruto… could he?

However, before he could ask, an argument was taking place outside of their cell. They all rushed over to the cell door, which had a small square window.

"I'm sorry, boss, but they were too close. Rave and I felt that she has to be apprehended, for the sake of the mission."

"What?" Gaara snarled. "I thought I made it clear, Chisando, _that my sister was to stay out of this." _He didn't raise his voice, but his every word seemed to echo for miles around.

"Yes, but, boss, we have no intention to harm Temari. But, boss, do you think it wise-?"

"Since when do you have the rank to talk to me like that? You work for me, is that clear? If she acts up, I'll take care of her personally. Tell Sasuke that as well, if you get the chance."

"Yes, boss." Chisando walked past her superior, her cloak and red hair billowing behind her.

"**Well, this is a fine mess you've gotten us into,"** Draco snapped. **"Potter, what did you do this time?"**

**"Wait, you're telling me that you didn't do this?"**

**"Why would I? In case you haven't noticed, no one knows who I am, and if it wasn't for Temari, I would've killed myself by now!"**

**"Oh...well, then-"**

"Draco," Temari interrupted feebly. "If you don't mind, could you stop yelling?" She rested her head on his shoulder, on the verge of sleep. "I'm tired…."

"Sorry, dear." He whispered, gently stroking her hair. "I'll try to keep it down." He glared at Harry, daring him to make fun of them.

"Harry," Naruto mumbled. "Who is he? Is he going out with Temari?"

"Oh, dear Lord, I think he is."

Naruto sighed with relief. _I don't think I could handle an ex right now. Believe it!_

* * *

**Did I take too long to update? I took too long to update, didn't I? And this chapter is too short, right? I'm sorry! I'm such a horrible person! I'll update sooner next time! And I'll make the next chapter longer!**

**( )-( )  
(-'.'-)  
(")(") ****This is Bunny. Reviews feed him. Feed the bunny!**


	14. The Game plan & author's notes

**Me: …**

**Naruto: What's with you? Hey, Harry-chan, what's up with Mimi-san?**

**Harry: She's upset because she looked through the list of people who alerted/favorited her story and saw that nobody reviews except for the regulars.**

**Naruto: -smirks- **_**Ooooh.**_**You mean she's upset that **_**boys**_** don't review.**

**Me: What?! No, that's not it!**

**Harry: Come on.**

**Me: No, you've got it all wrong!**

**Naruto: Mimi-san, are you…**_**boy-crazy?**_

**Me: … Shut up or I'll make a Naruto/Harry/Draco threesome.**

**Harry/Draco/Naruto: Shutting up now.**

**Me: Draco, when did you get here?**

**Draco: Temari asked me to tell you to stop this stupid conversation and get on with the story.**

**Me: Got it! Now, on to the story!**

* * *

"We've been here for weeks," Draco said, staring longingly at the window in the door. "Possibly months, and I can feel my sanity waning…" He struck a dramatic pose.

"Draco-chan," Temari interrupted. "We've only been here a few hours."

Draco anime-fell.

"**Bloody moron,**" Harry snapped. "**You couldn't last two days away from your precious mummy or daddy.**"

"**Shut up, pansy! At least I **_**have**_** a mum and dad.**"

"Harry," Naruto begged, resting his head on Harry's shoulder. "Please stop arguing. I wanna go to sleep."

"Draco, Naruto's right. There's not much we can do for now…please let me sleep."

"Alright, dear." Naruto and Harry glanced at each other. Draco had more mood swings than a bi-polar teenager with PMS. In fact, they could feel their sanities waining as well, only Naruto in not so many words.

* * *

Gaara, Sasuke, Chisando, and Rave were in the dungeon's main room. The ceiling was high above their heads, an ornate chandelier hanging from above. Stone walls were covered in axes, swords, daggers and unspeakable torture devices, a stone floor lying beneath their feet. They were discussing Temari's fate, and things weren't looking so good for the pig-tailed girl. 

"Really, she's too close to Malfoy." Rave said, munching on a caramel apple. "The best thing to do is to treat no different than the boys."

"I concur." Chisando agreed, sipping her tea. "She's grown fond of that insignificant maggot. We eliminate her and-"

"No." Gaara's voice carried across the entire room, impossibly echoing throughout, booming, yet silent; a scream, yet a whisper.

Gaara held up the wine glass he was holding and took a sip of the apple cider. (Well, he couldn't drink wine, could he?) "Temari will not die." He said it, therefore it was...or else.

"Yes, sir. But, then, what do you propose we do?"

"Separate them. Emotionally. If we can get her to hate him enough, we might even get her on our side."

"Yes, sir," Rave said, nodding. "But how do you propose we do that?"

"That's where we give you two a bit of freedom." Sasuke said, slitting his wrist with a dagger. "You two understand the female mind better than we do. Just make him seem like an insensitive asshole."

The two girls nodded. Rave and Chisando knew they had some work ahead of them…

* * *

"What do you mean they're gone?!" Tsunade yelled, slamming her fist on the table. 

"As in I couldn't find them, and no one's seen them." Kakashi said, only half paying attention from behind his….Pottery Barn catalogue? Well, even Shinobi need furniture. However, this was not the moment.

"What about Sakura, huh! She must have seen Sasuke, or at least heard from him!"

"She was pigging out on ice cream and watching 'Days of our lives'. My guess is they had a fight and broke up."

"Ah," Gai said. "Youth is often filled with heartbreak, right Kakashi?"

"Huh?" Kakashi, who had been looking at a nice apothecary table (With optional matching tablecloth) hadn't been paying attention.

"I don't care about that! Go find Harry and Draco, now! The fate of the wizarding world is in danger!"

"If you insist," Kakashi said, putting away his catalogue while Gai struck his infamous good guy pose.

Thus, they disappeared in a puff of smoke, reappearing outside the boundary of Konohagakure, and began their search for the missing wizards…and Naruto, too.

* * *

_Meanwhile at Hogwarts…._

Back in London, it was late Saturday morning, and The Great Hall was abuzz with gossip and wild stories. The golden trio, the Dream Team, the Boy who Lived and his sidekicks, were gone. Poof, just gone. They had been missing for a week now, and no one had any idea what had happened to them. Not that anyone was going to admit that, of course.

"I heard that the sidekicks were eloping, and Harry went as best man-"

"I've been told that Harry and Ron were caught shagging in the courtyard-"

"No, Ron's cousin is a psycho and kidnapped them, remember that foreigner-?"

"Ron tried to kill Harry when he found him with Hermione-"

That entire week, story after story had been told and retold. History of magic was used solely to talk to others about "sightings" of Harry, passing notes holding info of tangled love lives and horrible affairs.

Only the teachers and headmaster knew what truly became of Harry, but the disappearance of Ron and Hermione was absolutely unknown, though Dumbledore had his suspicions….

* * *

Once Temari, Naruto, Harry, and Draco were asleep, Rave and Chisando began to make a game plan. 

"Right," Chisando said, taking charge. "Well, from what Gaara-Sama told us, Temari's the jealous type. One of us just had to sneak in there, pretend to be another captive, and act like they did something with Draco."

"What, like when he was sleeping?" Rave asked. "Isn't that a little creepy, Chissy?"

"Don't call me Chissy. And not like _that_. Like you met him back at Hogwarts. You really are an idiot, aren't you?"

"Nuh-uh! You're just too mysterious!" A lightblub flashed above her head. "Wait a minute; neither of us are British! They'll know we're lying in a second!" _Take that, Chissy!_

Rave-1, Chisando-zip.

"You moron, that's what the girl operative from the wizarding world is for. She's making a weak language potion. That'll be enough to give us convincing accents."

"Well, we still don't know nothin' 'bout the wizarding world. What if they ask where we meet, or that school they go to? Didn't thinka that, did you?"

Rave-2, Chisando-zip.

"Again, that's what she's for. She gave us books to read last week."

Rave-2, Chisando-1

"Fine, then, you go in there and pretend to slobber all over him."

"Alright, then, if you think you can't handle it."

And without further ado, Chisando stepped inside the inmates' cell.

Winner: Chisando!

**Wow…over 4,000 hits… Surreal; which is why it pains me to say, this fic might be discontinued. The school year blues are back with a vengeance, and I'll be doing things like sports, and blah, blah, blah, etc. To ****Chisando**** and ****raveresque-fantastiques****, thank you so much for volunteering, otherwise, my friends would've had to be henchpeople, and they'd probably black mail me to kill Sasuke or something. Well, anyway, I won't have any free time to update.I think I _should_ just give it up to save myself the headache. Unless, enough people review to say they like this, because then I would feel all guilty and stuff for not updating. Well, it's all up to you people. In case I don't update, thank you so much to every one who's read this and stuck with it!**

**Update: This fic will be continued, but is on hiatus untill further notice. Damn you, math...Damn you!**


	15. Not pretty

**I'm back! This fic is up and running once again! I just couldn't stop it. It's at too much of a dramatical story! So, please enjoy! **

"Japanese"

"**English**"

* * *

Tsunade paced back and forth in her office. This was not good. This was very, very bad. Do you wanna know how bad it was?

Tsunade had locked up her secret stash of sake. That's how bad it was. That's right. She _willingly_ gave up her sake.

Why was she driven to such extremes? It was because the fate of the wizarding world was in jeopardy. And why should this matter to Hokage, who was on the other side of the planet? Well, there was actually a fascinating story to that. You see, the hidden villages couldn't be seen to outsiders who had never heard of it. And how was this feat accomplished? Simple: each village had been made Unplottable. And each and every citizen of each village was their Secret-Keepers. This, of course, was done by magic. And who was in charge of magic? The Japanese Minister of Magic. If something were to happen to the boy who lived, the Japanese Minister would blame Konoha and Suna. Then those two Hidden villages would have to go to war with the entire British wizarding world. However, they had just gotten out of war with each other. If they were to go to war _again_, they would only be driving their villages to their doom. And the villages would take them down before their destruction.

Tsunade continued pacing, thinking. Who would have something to gain from kidnapping both Naruto and Harry? She began to make a list of possible suspects in her head.

_Possible suspects, by Me._

_1) Voldemort. Motive: Destroy any hope of being defeated. Problem with theory:How does Naruto tie in?_

_2 ) Akatsuki. Motive: Obtain the Nine-Tailed fox and possibly the piece of Voldemort's soul in Harry. Problem with theory: How would they have heard about Harry?_

_3) That paperclip from Microsoft® word. Motive: Annoyed at the Japanese names showing up without ever being corrected. Problem with theory: Why Harry? And how would it get out of the computer?_

_4) The Zodiac. Motive: Increase fame. Problem with theory: Why travel so far?_

_5)Umm…. How about….? Yeah, I give up._

Tsunade sighed. What was point of worrying? It was up to Kakashi and Gai now. All she could do now was hope.

"Lady Tsunade!" Shizune came running into her boss's office.

"What is it _now_?"

"Lord Kazekage's gone missing!"

Looks like Tsunade will have to avoid Sake for a _very_ long time…

* * *

Back in Sunagakure, Kankuro was being questioned by the Konohagakure Anbu black ops. It wasn't like he wasn't scared enough as it is. His sister and brother were missing. Gone. Now, these people were interogsting him like _he'd_ done something. Hello! He knew not to mess with Gaara. But here he was. And it was not pretty.

"Listen, kid." A female Anbu said nicely. "We like you. We want to help you. Just tell us where you hid your siblings or-"

"-Or we'll rip you apart limb from limb." Yep. It was the good ol' good cop, bad cop routine.

"What's a cop?"

Damn it, that's for the READERS, not you!

"I still wanna know what a cop it."

I can't tell you! That'll shred the already paper-thin reality of your being!

Anyway, they were using the good cop, bad cop routine. So far, the bad cop was winning.

"Listen boy, where did you hid them?!"

"I didn't!" Kankuro, already a very emotional person (He plays with DOLLS, for SpongeBob's sake.) was on the verge of tears.

"WHERE ARE THEY?"

"I don't know!"

"WHERE ARE THEY? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH THEM? WHY COMBINE A GRILLER WITH AN Mp3? IT"S JUST WRONG!"

"I don't know!" Kankuro sobbed, bursting into tears. "I don't know!"

The female Black op. rolled her eyes.

"How long are you gonna keep up that Gary Coleman grill/Mp3 player thing?"

"Why combine them! It's just wrong!!"

"That's not why we're here, Dumbass!"

"You're no fun."

* * *

Chisando had snuck into the dungeon where the hostages were currently asleep. Grabbing a flask from underneath her cloak, she silently took a sip.

"**Much better.**" She removed her clock and immediately began banging on the door. "**Lemme out! I didn't do any thing! Please let me out!**"

"Huh?" Naruto lifted his head sleepily. "What's going on?" He glanced at the red-haired girl that was banging on the door. "Hey, do you need help?"

"**OH, thank goodness you're awake! Please, help!"**

"Umm…" Naruto shook Harry awake. "Harry, there's some one here…"

"Ugh," Harry said groggily. "What time-"

"**Someone, please help me! Please, I was just- then they-now I'm- please help!"**

Draco and Temari were now awake too. Naruto and Temari were utterly confused. Harry was just about to start comforting the poor girl when she noticed Draco.

"**Oh! Draco! I haven't seen you in ages!**" She ran over to him and immediately began to make out with him. "**I'm so sorry, but every one back at Hogwarts misses you!**"

"Draco." Temari sounded very, very pissed. I-Will-destroy-you pissed. "Who is she?"

"**Hey, umm…who are you?**" Harry asked.

"**I'm Draco's girlfriend!**"

"Really?" Temari was beyond pissed. She was furious. She was upset. AND she was hungry. This was a very deadly combination. Draco was a dead man.

"**Oh, Draco, I missed you so much! But, how did you get here?**" However, Draco's attention was on his actual girlfriend.

"Temari, I don't know her! Really!"

"Hn." She got up and walked over to Naruto. "What a prick."

"Temari!"

"**Draco…**" She kissed him again. "**What's wrong?**"

"Harry, what's going on?" Naruto asked.

"I have absolutely no idea."

Boy, oh boy. Someone's got some 'spainin' to do!

* * *

**YOSH! I have a challenge for you people! Anyone, I mean ANYONE, who gets the Nickelodean (Did I spell it right?) reference, or the reference of the last line, in this chappie get their own one-shot! For nearly any category they want! Naruto, Harry Potter, Danny Phantom, iCarly, Bleach, Bo Bo-bo, whatever! (I'll send you a PM if I need details) And Review! I don't feel loved, peoples! I wanna feel loved!**


	16. Free Time &Filler chap&

**Yeah! New reviewers! Hello, new people, and welcome to the madness that is me. I won't be able to update too often. Me and **artsfan **are writing a fic together. Right now it sucks, so major editing is needed. Okay, enjoy the filler chappie!**

* * *

Sasuke had some free time to himself. He was sitting in one of the armchairs of The Main room and was thinking about what to do. 

_Hmm…what can I do…I've always wondered what it would be like to be a mafia boss._

He stood up and walked over to a mirror across the room and made an old guy face, talking in a raspy voice.

"You come to me on the day of my daughter's wedding, and ask me for a favor?"

_Nah. _He sat back down. _That wasn't much fun. What about an artist? I'd look good in a beret. Or maybe a cop. I might look good in a uniform. Nah, I don't work for the man. What would Sakura say?_

He thought about Sakura, who he'd left behind. He didn't want to do that. But she didn't get it. Harry was a git and he had to suffer. Yeah, she wanted to understand, but it would take too long to explain. That reminded him-

_I wonder if I still have fangirls. I've been gone for a while now. Maybe they've moved on._

_Yeah, right. Who'd they worship, Choji? Only fat chicks like him…_

_Shikamaru? Well, he's uncaring and smooth, but he doesn't have a bad past. Chicks dig a bad boy with a bad past. He might get a few smart chicks though._

_Shino? He's mysterious enough. Girls would probably go crazy trying to see what his eyes look like. Too bad about the whole bug thing. Chicks hate bugs._

_Naruto? Yeah, like anyone cares about the stupid dobe. What a loser. The only girl that talks to him is that Hinata girl, and he's too stupid to notice her. Loser._

_Neji? He's cool, but he's so freakin' obsessed with his hair. His eyes are kinda creepy, too. Especially when they get all vein-y. Not to mention his whole destiny fix. If anyone gave him a fortune cookie that said he's supposed to like dudes, he'd do it so he wouldn't 'defy destiny'._

_Lee? No. Just no._

_Kiba? Well, he's wild. Girls like that. And face-paint. Look at how many fangirls Gaara has. Chicks dig dudes with make-up. And he has a puppy. Chicks dig wild and cute. Shit, I didn't have the cuteness vote. I had the 'bad boy with a bad past' vote. He has the Wild vote _and _the Cuteness vote!_

_Great. I'm going to lose my fangirl base to dog-boy. Just great!_

Sasuke flopped down on the armchair. This was not fun. Not fun at all.

At some point, somewhere in between his brooding, he heard music coming from upstairs and decided to investigate.

* * *

Gaara was upstairs in on of the towers of the dungeon. 'Freak on a Leash' was blasting from the stereo, a copy of Lost Grace in his hands as he scanned the pages, the macabre imagery all he noticed as his eye scanned the vivid descriptions. 

This is what Gaara tells people when they're stupid enough to ask what he does in his spare time.

This is what he was actually doing.

"Why, this car is automatic!"

"It's systematic!"

"It's HY-dromatic!"

"_Why, it's Grease Lightning!_"

-

_We'll get some overhead lifters_

_And some four-barrel quads, oh yeah_

_(Keep talking, whoa, keep talking!)._

_-_

_Fuel injection cut-off and chrome-plated rods, oh yeah._

_(I'll get the money, oh, can't you get the money!)_

_With a four-speed on the floor,_

_They'll be waiting at the door._

_-_

_You know that it ain't shit_

_We'll be getting' lotsa tit_

_With Grease Lightning!_

_-_

_Go Grease Lightning,_

_You're burning up the corner mile!_

_(Grease Lightning, Go Grease Lightning!)_

_Go, Grease Lightning, you're coasting through_

_Hip loud drive._

_(Go, Grease Lightning!)_

_-_

_You are supreme._

_The chicks'll scream_

_For Grease Lightning!_

_-_

_We'll get some purple French tail-lights and_

_30 inch fins, oh yeah._

_A palomino dashboard and_

_Dual muffle tins, oh yeah._

_-_

_With new boosters built_

_And shocks_

_I can get out on the rocks._

_You know that I ain't bragging,_

_She's a real-_

Suddenly, a knock on the door interrupted the duo's joyful singing. The two looked at each other in a panic. Gaara threw off the leather jacket and tossed it to Rave, who hid behind the door after turning off the CD player as Gaara composed himself to his normal blank self. He opened the door a crack, sticking his head out.

"Hello," Sasuke said nervously, seeing the look on Gaara's face.

"What do you want?"

"I…I heard some music…and I thought someone broke in…"

"Broke into my room?" Gaara intensified his glare, willing Sasuke to go away.

"Yeah…um…If you're good…I'm gonna go now." Sasuke ran downstairs. Gaara closed the door behind him. Once he was out of earshot, Gaara sighed in relief.

Rave laughed. "Wanna do it again?" She asked, handing Gaara back the jacket and smoothing out the poodle skirt she was wearing.

"Alright. I get the chorus this time."

"You got it!"

The two sang the song yet again, looking at each other with a certain sparkle in their eyes…

* * *

**Okay, the next chapter will move the story along and be longer. I promise. I just got this in my head and had to add it. Please review. That means people who alerted/favortied this story. I can't stand people who alert a story, but never review for it. I will not update until I get three reviews. Is that too much? No, it is not.**

**And if you got the reverences from the last chapter, you can still get a one-shot.**

**-Peace out!**


	17. It's up to us now

**Me:-**_Ultimate thunder of gloom_**- No one wants a one-shot from me…-**_Wanders over to emo corner_**-.**

**Sasuke:-**_Holding faded photo-_** Itachi….why did you do it?**

**Me: Move, Sasuke. It's my turn.**

**Sasuke: No!**

**Me: -**_ glare of promised death- _**Sasuke, move or I will sell you to the black market.**

**Sasuke: Fine. –**_Gets up from emo corner_**-.**

**Me:-**_sits in corner_**-. No one wants a one-shot from me…I'm a good person…I try my best…**

**I've lost my mind.**

**I don't miss it. XP**

**"English"**

"Japanese"

**

* * *

**

Temari was very distressed. That meant she was acting very angry. Growing up with her younger brother taught her tears only brought more pain. Anger: That's how you got what you wanted. Anger and terrorization: that was all you needed.

"Temari!" Draco cried beggingly for the umpteenth. "Really, I don't know her!"

"Well," She responded stiffly. "She seems to be hanging off you arm so-"

"**Draco, why are you talking to her?**" Chisando cuddled up next to him and giggled. "**You're not trying to leave me, are you?"**

**"We're not dating! I don't even know who you are! Get off me!**"

Naruto and Harry watched the whole drama unfold in front of them with a disturbed fascination, occasionally translating for each other.

"Harry?"

"Yeah?"

"You don't have a girlfriend back at Hogwarts, do you?" Naruto had such a wounded expression on his face that Harry felt sorrow jus looking at it.

"No way." He gave Harry's hand a gentle squeeze. "Not if they're all this crazy."

"Temari, please listen!" Draco was begging, actually on the verge of tears. "I don't know her!"

"**Hey,**" Harry said suddenly. "**You never told us your name, or what house you were in."**

**"Draco never mentioned me? My name is Amanda Cisssal, of the noble house of Hufflepuff."**

**"Really? Did you know Susan Bones?"**

Chisando froze. She hadn't been expecting questions about the students. She began to panic. What should she do? This hadn't been in any of the textbooks!

Wait a minute. She was Chisando. She didn't panic. Panic was for lesser beings, like Rave.

"**No,"** She said after a moment's thought. "**But I've talked to her once or twice.**"

Draco was still trying to convince Temari that he didn't know the new girl.

"Temari, even if I did know her, I'm not dating her!"

"Of course you two are! Look at the way she's just clinging off you! I-"

"Temari, I love you, and I would never do anything to hurt you!"

An awkward silence followed.

"What did you said?" Temari was barely speaking above a whisper. "You didn't just say-?"

"Yes, I said it. I love you." He finally managed to get Chisando off of his his arm, much to her distaste. "I love you."

"Draco…I'm not sure I can believe you."

Harry and Naruto were both stunned. Harry because Draco had just confessed to caring about some beside himself. Naruto because Chisando looked more thoughtful then venomous.

"Looks like my work here is done," She muttered to herself. Seconds later, a smoke bomb exploded and she was gone.

"Where'd she go?" Draco asked, and immediately regretted it.

"See? You care more about her!"

"Temari…"

"NO! I'm not listening to you anymore! I GIVE UP! I HATE YOU!"

For the rest of that moment, silence.

* * *

Rave and Gaara were still upstairs. At this point they were both tired from singing Grease soundtrack songs, and were watching "Saw III". Neither of them was really watching the movie, however much they both loved carnage. Rave risked glances at her boss, blushing whenever he glanced back. Gaara, on the other hand, was trying really, _really_ hard to pull off an effective fake-yawn. Why? So he could put his arm around Rave, duh. Don't you people read these stories for a reason? After the first two attempts had failed…well, they don't say third time's the charm for nuthin'. 

Unfortunately, the sweet moment was interrupted by a very anxious knock at the door. Gaara came as close to scowling as he could, stood up, and opened the door.

"The plan's a success! Boss, I think it's time to exterminate them!" Chisando's normally cold and indifferent demeanor had been unceremoniously replaced by unbidden excitement. The bloodlust in her eyes was strong and unnerved Rave, who was a quite a few feet away.

"Gaara-sama, Sasuke's already been informed. He's probably already down there. I'll be waiting!" She disappeared in a puff of smoke, no doubt to torture the poor victims before their deaths.

Gaara and Rave turned to each other. It was definitely time to exterminate the antagonists of their lives once and for all.

"You ready?" Rave asked.

"Yes. And you?"

"I was born ready, baby!"

* * *

Back in the dungeon, Draco was talking to Harry and Naruto. Temari refused to have anything to do with him, and was ignoring him for all he was worth. 

"Look." Draco walked over to where Harry and Naruto were sitting. "I know you two are going out."

Both Harry and Naruto were expecting the other to start denying it; when neither did, they both felt-what? Relief? Happiness? Anyway, they both nodded.

"How?" Harry asked.

"Dude, you two are freaking holding hands! It doesn't take a genius to figure it out! Look, can you guys-"

BOOM.

The door flew of its hinges and slammed against the opposite wall. Chisando stood framed in the door, and wildly insane look on her face.

"Ooh, I beat Sasuke!" Chisando, now in her normal apperal, had an insanely joyful look in her eyes. "Looks like I get to have a little fun with these people. Whipping out an Ebony wand, she pointed it at Temari. "_Crucio!_"

"AHHH!"

"Draco!"

Just before the spell could hit Temari, Draco had moved in front of her.

"I told you...I love you." And he collapsed.

"Draco!" Temari rushed over to him, sobbing.

"Looks like it's up to us now," Naruto and Harry looked at each other and smiled. They knew that all their lives rested on their shoulders now.


	18. Not the end

**Quick Author's note: This isn't anywhere near the end, but I need a creative break, so I'm cutting it of here and starting a sequel next month.

* * *

**"Bring it on, losers!" Chisando screeched. "Just make this fun for me!" Chisando's hair was slightly unkempt, and her eyes were alight with bloodlust. "C'mon, cowards!" 

"Harry, what do we do?" Naruto asked, unnerved by the sudden reappearance of Draco's non-girlfriend.

"I'll tell you what we'll do," Harry said, drawing his own wand. "We'll take down this crazy bitch and get outta here." Harry aimed his wand at Chisando. "_Expelliamous!_"

She expertly dodged the spell, and threw another unforgivable curse.

"_Imperio!_" This had been aimed at Naruto.

"Ahh!" Naruto screamed. Then something very odd happened. His mind went blissfully blank. Everything seemed to fade away….

_Just give up…_ A sweet voice in Naruto's head whispered. _You don't have to do anything but give up…_

_Naruto...just relax...give up...there's no reason to die just yet..._

"_Hello!"_ The Nine-tailed fox awoke from its usual slumber. "_Do you think I'll just let you win?!"_

"AGH!" Chisando stumbled backwards. "Shit, I forgot…No matter, I'll still take you dow-"

"CHISANDO." Sasuke's voice boomed. "There's no point in killing them so ruthlessly." Sasuke stepped into the dungeon, followed by Rave and Gaara. Two more dark figures stood behind Rave, but they chose to remain outside.

Temari looked up from Draco's seemingly dead body, tears still in her eyes, and stared at her younger brother. "Gaara?"

"Get them outta here." Sasuke demanded. "We'll deal with them later."

Gaara looked slightly pissed off, but allowed Rave to drag Draco and Temari from the room. Temari was too shocked by her brother sudden appearance to resist.

Naruto and Harry watched in silence as Temari and Draco left, leaving them with Chisando, Sasuke, Gaara, and the mysterious two figures still hidden in the shadows. Gaara moved forward, looking Harry right in the eye.

Naruto and Harry sat there, frozen. What was to happen to them? What things did they have planned?

"Alright," Gaara said monotonously. "Show yourselves."

The two figues stepped forward from the shadows, smirks on both their faces. Naruto didn't know either of them, but Harry-

"RON! HERMIONE!" Harry seemed delighted. "What are you guys-?"

He stopped as a kunai was held to his throat by none other than Ron, his best friend.

"Ron?" Harry asked, shaking slightly. "Wha-?"

"I am bloody sick and bloody tired of you getting everything you want!" Ron screamed. "It always 'Harry this and Harry that', well I'm fucking tired of it!"

"But Ron-"

"TOO LATE! I'll fucking kill you! Then people will finally know who the fuck I am!"

Sasuke nearly rolled his eyes.

"You idiot. Just kill them already. Is that-?" Sasuke was caught off guard by a punch to the face from-

"Gaara, what the fuck is your problem?!"

"YOU'RE OUR PROBLEM!" Rave yelled. "Gaara and I are tired of you trying to ruin stuff! We don't even care anymore!"

"You traitor!" Hermione screeched. "You're a back-stabbing bitch!"

"And god damn proud of it!" Rave whipped out a wand. A bright light shone, a scream was heard, then all went black…

* * *

Harry was the first to awake. He didn't want to open his eyes, but he could tell he was outside somewhere.

"Harry?" A familiar voice said somewhere above Harry. "Are you awake?"

"Yeah…I guess. Where are we?"

"Don't know." Naruto helped Harry sit up, leaning on the grass below him. He opened his eyes.

They were in front of Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizadry.

"Whoa… I didn't actually think I'd every see this place again."

"You know this place?" A familiar voice from behind. The couple turned around, and saw Temari, Draco, Rave and Gaara standing behind them. They were all smiling, even Temari, though her eyes were still red and puffy.

"They switched sides, Harry!" She said cheerfully. "They saved us!"

Harry and Naruto glanced at each other. Then they burst out laughing. At that moment they were safe. They didn't care that Gaara could still killl them, or that Draco and Temari could've been the ones who switched sides.

As though some instinct was leading them, they all ran towards the castle. Formalities and technicalities could wait. For now, they were safe.

Only for now…

* * *

**Please look forward to the sequel.**

**EDIT-I looked it over and added a few things. I thought it was missing something. I hope you all like it.**


	19. The Sequal's out, people!

**Hello, it's me! No, _this i_sn't the update.**

**I just thought you all should know, For those who aren't aware of it already, I've finished and posted the first chapter of "Naruto Uzumaki: Wizard?" a few months ago. I havn't updated past chapter one yet, because I have other fics and vid on YouTube to work on.**

**However, since Not many people have read the sequal, I feel that, if it doesn't get the proper amount of hit (God, I sound so prima-donnaish, but it's gotta be done.) It will be discontinued. **

**I just don't feel the same amount of love that I got form 'Harry Potter:Shinobi?", and I do have other things to do.**

**So, You you haven't already, please check out the sequal to "Harry Potter: Shinobi?"**

**Thank you!**


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